How to play piano for a wedding
I once knew an organist who had a three fees for playing for a wedding— a low fee if he picked the music, a moderate fee if the bride picked the music, and a high fee if the mother of the bride picked the music. Most wedding musicians lack the courage to try this themselves, but they all understand the wisdom of his thinking: there are few gigs that contain as much potential for unmitigated drama than playing for a wedding. Emotions run high, everyone has an opinion, and expectations are frequently unrealistic. Yet once the pianist learns how to navigate these charged waters, playing for weddings can be lucrative and steady work.
Weddings are events charged with the romantic dreams of the participants. As pianists we help those dreams come true. For the pianist, weddings are less about romance and more about organization and meticulous detail. As such, our work begins well before we arrive at the wedding venue. No brief guide can cover all the contingencies that can be encountered when playing a wedding, but here are some of the most important things pianists need to know in order to guarantee that the musical part of any ceremony they play is seamless and professional.
Do your homework
Create a generic wedding set list or notebook
Include all the popular marches (purchase a collection of wedding pieces for piano to get started), as well as happy background pieces such as middle movements of sonatas, slower Baroque pieces, Chopin Waltzes, etc. Avoid choosing popular music unless you’ve been directed to play a particular song—one never wishes to make a mistake by playing a favorite song the bride shared with her ex.
Have a clear fee structure
The initial rate should include the following: one consultation with the bridal party (in person or online), the rehearsal, and the ceremony. If the wedding requires excessive travel, extra meetings, or needing to hire equipment or other musicians, added fees will be required. If you’re unsure of what to charge, check online musician hire sites in your area or call pianists you know and ask them for their rates. As a newcomer, it’s best to charge a little less than the established players, but not so little that you’ll lack motivation to do the gig.
Create a wedding contract
When agreeing to any performance, especially weddings, pianists need to have a contract. Contracts help everyone understand expectations and protect pianists from the inevitable “mission creep” that can come when working with a wedding party (such as asking for more rehearsal time or wanting free music during the reception). This wedding contract, offered by Carnegie Mellon University, is an excellent example of what information needs to be included.
The wedding party consultation
If meeting in person
Unless you can get access to the wedding venue, it’s best to hold the initial meeting in your own home or studio. Why? Because you will most likely need to play excerpts of pieces so the wedding party can choose their favorites. Most people don’t know the names of commonly-played wedding music so, as pianist, you will have to guess based on what they say or (sometimes) hum.
If meeting online
Prepare a list of musical examples ahead of time. You can either play these pieces for the wedding party during your consultation or you can send links of recordings of these pieces in advance so they can choose their favorites.
Carefully go over your contract and review financial terms and expectations
Whatever you and the wedding party have agreed to regarding your time and compensation, get it into your contract and get everything signed. If you are using a paper contract (as opposed to an online document signature site), fill out and sign both copies so both you and the wedding party have a copy.
Choosing the music
Bride (or Partner) processional
The most important piece you will play in any wedding is the main processional piece, once referred to as the bridal march. A large number of traditional couples will choose Wagner’s wedding chorus from Lohengrin, best known in pop culture as the “here comes the bride” march. Remember that unless the wedding venue has an extremely long aisle, you will be playing no more than 8 - 16 bars of music.
Wedding attendant processional
Music for the entrance of the attendants it usually either a favorite song of the wedding couple, or something traditional such as Pachelbel’s Canon in D or Bach’s Air on a G String. If the wedding party has no strong opinion on what music they want, choose from your selection of potential marches. A note: be sure that anything you play has short phrases and frequent cadences as you’ll need to stop playing as soon as all the attendants are in.
Recessional music
This should be something loud, upbeat, and fast. Mendelssohn’s Wedding March is a common favorite, but there are many celebratory choices to choose from. If possible, get the wedding party to agree that you need not change music for the departure of the attendants and then again for the wedding guests. This will allow you to play at least one piece in its entirety.
Extra music
Will the wedding include a musical soloist? If so, get the name and contact information for this person, as well as the name of the piece being performed.
Does the couple have any favorite songs they want included in the ceremony? If so, where in the service would they like them to be played?
Will the wedding include things such as lighting a unity candle? If so, ask if they want special music for this, or if you can choose something appropriate.
Ask if the participants want you to play separate music for the seating of the parents and grandparents.
Ask about the level of formality for the wedding. This will allow you to dress appropriately for the event. Plan to dress professionally but never in anything flashy enough to upstage the wedding couple or the attendants.
The Wedding Rehearsal
Even with the guidance of an organized coordinator, wedding rehearsals are notoriously chaotic events. None of them start on time and most of them run longer than expected. Yet for those who are new to playing for weddings, attending the rehearsal is one of the best ways to ensure playing well at the wedding. In addition to meeting with all members of the wedding party, the rehearsal is the time to also do the following:
Meet the wedding coordinator and the officiant to work out cues
Who will be letting you know when to start and stop playing processional music? Introduce yourself to this person and work out your cues with them in advance. Make sure you can make eye contact with the coordinator from the piano.
As the wedding officiant is the person who introduces the newly married couple, it’s best to ask them for a cue as well so you start the recessional at the right time.
Mark stopping places in your score
Every aisle is a different length and everyone walks at a different speed. Pay attention to when attendants and the wedding couple are in place and mark these spots in your scores so you know approximately where to stop playing during the wedding. Be sure to note the number of attendants and where they’re standing so you’ll know when all are in place.
Write out an informal order of service
Every rehearsal outlines what will happen and at what point in the ceremony. Write these things down so you aren’t caught unprepared when you need to play something during the ceremony.
Wedding
Whether a formal or informal wedding, it’s best to arrive early to set up and to make things less stressful for the wedding party. Ask when the wedding coordinator plans to arrive and show up at the same time.
Check in with the coordinator when you get to the venue and (if you haven’t already been paid), pick up your check. It’s challenging to track down payment after the wedding when everyone’s eager to get to the reception.
As guests start to arrive, consider this your cue to begin playing background music. Some people tend to arrive early so plan on 30-40 minutes of quiet music to play while people are finding their seats. I tend to favor light classical pieces as they point to the formality of the occasion. Pay attention to the clock. Five or so minutes before the intended starting time, begin looking for the wedding coordinator so you don’t delay the wedding by missing cues.
Pay attention!
Two cardinal sins committed by wedding pianists: playing too long once attendants are in place or stopping too soon and making people walk in silence. To avoid this, watch both the attendants and the wedding coordinator (yes, while you’re playing). Have your music arranged ahead of time so you can switch pieces without fumbling around. Don’t lose focus during the ceremony, and watch the officiant carefully as the wedding appears to be drawing to a close.
Plan to play something festive after the wedding party is out so that guests aren’t asked to leave in awkward silence. You don’t need to wait until the room has cleared; five minutes or so will most likely be enough.
In conclusion
Playing for weddings is like all piano-related jobs: we learn by doing it. After each wedding it can be helpful to take note of what music worked well and what didn’t, also what information would have been helpful to know before the event. These things will help make the next wedding you play go even smoother.
Photo by Shardayyy Photography, courtesy of UpSplash